HALLOWEEN AT THE FUNERAL HOME



My father’s funeral home sat in the middle of the residential section of Main Street. Ours was an odd little stretch of the street. On one side of us there lived a chiropractor who practised out of an old Victorian house. At that time, our town’s citizens looked upon the field of chiropractic as suspect and related to sorcery. People occasionally knocked on his door and from my seat on the veranda I did my best to be certain they got out alive by monitoring their exit.

On the other side lived two widowed sisters who I never saw in the flesh in the thirteen years we lived there. I heard dishes clattering from their kitchen window, the smell of their burnt toast and coffee wafted past and I could just make out their shadows as they walked to and fro in front of the dark mesh screen that protected their window.



Across the street was another Victorian house brimming with a family of Holy Rollers. You just never knew what might be going on in there.



Every day was Halloween in our neighborhood.


On October 31, my father spent a small fortune on CANDY – the panacea for all life’s scary, icky moments and childhood hurts.



Children will do almost anything to get their hands on it, including knocking on the door of a funeral home on Halloween night.

One might think that the funeral home’s would be the last doorstep trick-or-treaters would darken on a Halloween night. Might be just a bit too real - a dead body, a casket or funereal accoutrement. God knows we had enough odd-looking stuff stashed away in old cupboards.




The children were not at all frightened by my father - he was the friendly sort. An undertaker who realized the best advertising and marketing campaign was based on one in which you are remembered as a giver, not a taker. So there he stood in his perfectly tailored and fashionable suit, (I always thought he must have made some Faustian pact with Pierre Cardin) threw open the door to the goblins and filled their bags with candy. We had hundreds of little visitors, all dressed in crazy costumes, excited to be at the funeral home. The undertaker gave good candy.



I wanted to decorate.



I preferred to hang cobwebs, make the kids walk through the funeral home with the lights off to find their candy secreted behind coffins, or piled up on a gurney, put my stamp on a haunted house installation, bob for apples, sell tickets.

But nooooo, the most my father would allow was a couple of freshly carved jack-o-lanterns on the front stoop.



One year, my father loaned one of his less expensive caskets to the school for a special Halloween event. Oh for a photo of THAT.

If we happened to be “busy” on Halloween night we hoped that the string of cars outside the funeral home and the number of plainly dressed adults entering would be a sign for the children to pass us by. You’d be surprised how many couldn’t take a hint. To ward off pint sized witches and devils and to prevent them from screaming “trick or treat” to a grieving widow, one of the funeral home’s employees was stationed outside where he cheerfully steered them away.

“Ya’ll come back next year, ya hear.”



12 comments:

  1. Fabulous!

    Those sisters sound mysterious. You would think they would have to go out of the house sometimes to buy groceries and run errands.

    What a fun neighborhood. I like getting to know your Dad in these posts.

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  2. Thanks Susan. I'm sure they must have left the house - I just never saw them! Although, people might have delivered things for them. They had an old shed in the back yard where they allowed my father to store wheelchairs and other odd things. Thanks for reading!

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  3. How funny. Those 2 sisters were the first thing I was going to mention and I see Susan beat me to it. I mean 13 YEARS!

    And I certainly want to hear more of this undertaker father in Cardin suits in the future.

    Your whole street sounds on the coo-coo side. My kind of place.

    And you obviously have some terrific art sources. A fascinating collection of halloween photos.

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  4. If this is a taste of what your memoir will be like, consider me intrigued and impatient to read more.

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  5. Thanks very much savvysavingbytes! Your comments are always so interesting and thought provoking. And it's helpful to know what "sticks" with readers.

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  6. Jo, yes it's a taste. It's not material lifted from the book, but fresh stuff that comes out from wherever it's been lying dormant! Huge thanks for reading.

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  7. "At that time, our town’s citizens looked upon the field of chiropractic as suspect and related to sorcery."

    Oh, how I had to laugh at this! A fair number of my town's citizens still do -- everybody knows and welcomes various funeral home employees, but few people like to discuss the chiropractors. I'm still not sure how one was elected to the town council.

    Your street sounds like so much fun, full of such interesting people. Those sisters do sound intriguing ...

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  8. Great post and great memories. I love the atmosphere in those photo's, the ones of the children dressed up are my favourites, they look so creepy, particularly the bottom photo.

    I wish we did Hallowe'en like the USA.

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  9. Thanks Bookishmiss. I'm laughing because you're laughing. And that town council thing - OMG - don't get me started. I think it's a secret society thingy.

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  10. The Amateur Casual - thanks so much for reading. I've noticed that there are more Halloween decorations in Hampstead than there used to be. And tonight I saw several Kensington pubs decorated. Slowly, but surely...

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  11. Hi Kate, fabulous information ... perfect for Halloween, of course. You may have had the most interesting childhood of anyone I know!

    Also, do you follow Roz Morris @ http://everycityisasmalltown.blogspot.com/ ?

    She's also in London, and writing about the movie, Hereafter, on her blog. She's also my next guest in SunnyRoomStudio.

    You may already know each other, but if not, funeral homes and movies about the hereafter ... just seem to go together! Best, Daisy

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  12. Thanks Daisy. I do follow Roz. So interesting about the film. Thanks!

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